Men at Arms by Terry Pratchett

On June 2, 2025 By The Unseen LibraryIn Audiobook, Comedy/Satire, Extended Universe, Fantasy, Five-Star Books, Murder Mystery, Throwback Thursday3 Comments

Publisher: Gollancz/Penguin Random (Audiobook – 1993)

Series: Discworld – Book 15/City Watch – Book Two

Length: 12 hours and 58 minutes

My Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

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After yet another re-read, the classic fantasy satire novel, Men at Arms remains as one of my favourite Discworld novels by the late, great Terry Pratchett, especially as its new audiobook version breaths fresh life into the always impressive novel.

Readers of this blog will have noticed that I have been on a real Discworld rampage lately, having re-read several books from my absolute favourite fantasy series. Much of this is due to the recent release of a cool new audiobook version of all the Discworld books, featuring an awesome array of new narrators and vocal talents. This new format has proven particularly awesome for books like Pyramids, Moving Pictures and Small Gods, and I have been eager to see how some of the books in my favourite Discworld sub-series, the City Watch books, come across with the new narrators.

While I have a lot of love for all the books in Terry Pratchett’s Discworld, my absolute favourites come from the City Watch sub-series. Following the unlikely members of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch, a rag-tag team of guards generally looked down upon by the entire city, the City Watch books features an exceptional combination of fantasy and crime fiction elements, wrapped up in Pratchett’s usual satirical humour, as the protagonists investigate a series of dastardly crimes in the supernatural Discworld. The series started perfectly with the awesome novel Guards! Guards!, which I reviewed last year, and Pratchett did an outstanding job following this up with the brilliant sequel, Men at Arms.

After saving the sprawling and eternally crime-ridden city of Ankh-Morpork from a fire-breathing dragon, the men of the Night Watch are still at work protecting the city, even though most of the city wishes they didn’t exist. Despite their previous escapades, it’s a bad time to be a copper in Ankh-Morpork, with species tension between the dwarfs and the trolls at boiling point, while the powerful guilds disregard the Watch’s non-existent authority. Worse, the Night Watch has been forced to accept three diversity hires, and must now contend with a mad dwarf, a thick troll and a woman (gasp) amongst their ranks.

Despite this, when an explosion at the Assassin’s Guild literally rocks the city, it falls to Captain Samuel Vimes and his small squad to investigate the heist hidden by the blast, despite the deliberate orders of the city’s tyrannical ruler to stop. Determined to wrap up the case before his impending marriage and retirement, Vimes is soon forced to contend with a series of unusual, but seemingly linked murders, many of which have been caused by a lethal weapon never seen on the Disc.

With riots on the streets, and assassins and fools dodging their questions, all the members of the watch, including their contentious recruits, will need to work together to solve the murders before the city descends into chaos. But how will they fare when going up against the most dangerous criminal mind the city has ever seen, one determined to bring back the Ankh-Morpork’s ancient kings, while wielding a dangerous new weapon that could change the entire Disc forever?

Even after many, many re-reads, Men at Arms continues to shine as one of Pratchett’s better books. Featuring an epic crime fiction narrative, loaded with impressive characters, fantastic humour and great use of Pratchett’s iconic Discworld setting, Men at Arms is a complex, emotionally charged and deeply moving read that I could honestly read 100 times and still not get bored with. A brilliant novel that unsurprisingly gets an instant five-star rating from me.

Pratchett wrote some exceptional narratives throughout his career, but few stand up to Men at Arms in terms of complexity, cleverness and emotional impact. Expertly reintroducing the cast of Guards! Guards!, while also bringing in some impressive new support characters, Men at Arms starts off an excellent pace, as Pratchett cleverly examines the changes to the characters, sets up the new case, while also showcasing the motivations of the apparent main antagonist. From there, it doesn’t take long for a dark series of crimes to take place, with Vimes and his squad investigating despite the apathy of the rest of the city. Pratchett does a lot of excellent set up in the early part of the book, and the reader soon becomes invested in the investigation, especially as the book begins to follow a series of deaths, some of which were caused by a particularly deadly weapon that modern readers will be all-too familiar with. Some great character arcs are also introduced here, as the extended cast all hit their own various problems they are forced to overcome, with Vimes dreading his eventual retirement, Carrot feeling the added responsibility, the fun buddy-cop arc between Detritus and Cuddy, and Angua dealing with her own problems. The author sets up and expands on these arcs throughout the book perfectly, providing additional emotional impact, as well as some interesting side angles on the main storyline.

While the first half of the novel sets everything up perfectly, it is in its second half where Men at Arms truly shines. Pratchett keeps raising the stakes of the story, with more victims, run-ins with the shadowy antagonist, and the Watch characters attempting to understand the nature of the weapon that has been turned against the city. The author throws in some interesting wrinkles to the case, which shadow who the true villain is, while other events throw emotional shade across several of the characters. The various connected character arcs start to come together perfectly as the book continues, and you go into the final stretch with a range of emotions around you. While ostensibly a comedy, Pratchett chooses to hit the tragedy element of the plot really hard in the lead up to the finale, with some big moments that will leave you speechless. The big end reveal and confrontation is exceptional, and I loved how well all the storylines and cleverly setup plot points came together. Everything leads up to a very desperate struggle that helps to define some of the main characters in some very powerful ways. Pratchett chooses to leave the book on a hopeful note that sets the expanded course for the future City Watch books, while also providing some interesting insights into one of the main characters and his role in the city. An overall epic narrative that twists, turns and keeps you guessing, while constantly entertaining and emotionally charged.

As with his other books, Pratchett perfectly sets out Men at Arms with impeccable writing, and I loved how this complex novel came about. Featuring his usual impressive blend of fantasy and humour elements at its base, Men at Arms is both intriguing and quite funny in equal measures, and I love the subtle comedy that runs through it. Many of these scenarios involve classic fantasy scenarios being seen through the eyes of self-aware characters, allowing the situation to be taken up to an 11, with sarcastic commentary from the witnesses. This humour is well enhanced by several of its best characters, including a fantastic new buddy cop routine, with members of two separate and historically antagonistic species forced to work together and eventually becoming friends. Some of the other hilarious moments in the book include unlikely members of the city’s population being conscripted into the Watch, unfunny clowns, unconventional investigation methods, and other subtle humour. You also have to love the brilliant footnotes that seek to enhance the story and showcase just how ridiculous the Discworld is by providing additional details about the universe and the people within it. All this results in a brilliant and highly entertaining fantasy read, and that’s before you even get to the great crime fiction elements of the story.

As with Guards! Guards!, Men at Arms stands out from the rest of the Discworld series due to the way that Pratchett provides a complex and compelling crime fiction narrative. Focused on an explosive heist that eventually results in a series of brutal murders, Men at Arms tries to envision how firearms would disrupt the Discworld. This allows for quite a captivating crime fiction narrative, which I feel was a much better mystery than Guards! Guards!. Advancing more into police procedural territory than its predecessor, the mystery of Men at Arms proves to be top rate, with the protagonists going after an already known villain for much of the book. Much of the early story involves the protagonists trying to unfurl the antagonist’s plan and discover how he committed the crime, which allows for some great scenes as the Watch inexpertly investigate. Pratchett cleverly twists the fact that think you know who the antagonist is towards the end of the book, and I love how well he switched this key story element, especially as the implied true villain of the story is far more sinister than just evil humans. I really enjoyed how well Pratchett sets up this mystery in Men at Arms, and even after so many re-reads there are still additional subtle clues and foreshadowing that I’m only just picking up on. The police procedural elements of the story are also extremely well handled, with a lot of humour focused around three very unlikely recruits joining the already scruffy outsiders who make up the Watch. All these elements come together extremely perfectly and allow for readers of various genres to come into Men at Arms and have an incredible time.

Due to Pratchett’s excellent writing style, Men at Arms does work quite well as a standalone novel, and new readers can generally enjoy this book without any prior knowledge of the Discworld series, especially once they get caught up in the cool story and amazing humour. However, I do feel that to get the best experience with Men at Arms, readers really do need to have checked out Guards! Guards! first. The continuing storylines, history of the city and character arcs all come into play extremely well in Men at Arms, and you get a much more complete experience viewing all City Watch novels in order. There is also a continuation of some character arcs from the standalone novel, Moving Pictures, especially as a few major characters from there get a recurring role in this new sub-series. As such, I would say that Men at Arms is a novel more aimed towards Pratchett’s established fans, with those who loved Guards! Guards! guaranteed to enjoy its impressive sequel and the compelling direction Pratchett starts to take the City Watch books in. It helps that the author continued to explore the crumbling and crime-ridden city that is Ankh-Morpork in this Men at Arms, providing even more details about its governance, mindset and people. This includes really expanding on the species tension between the dwarfs and trolls and showcasing it as a major plot point while also paralleling real-life racial tensions. This focus on dwarf and troll conflict becomes a major plot point of the Discworld going forward (especially in the later City Watch books), and its setup here was spectacular. Combine that with the changes that happen to the Watch at the end of the book, and Men at Arms is an important entry in the wider Discworld context, especially as so many key City Watch storylines start here.

While there are so many amazing writing elements to Men at Arms, few things top the exceptional character work that ensured that this novel was far more than just a funny fantasy novel with crime fiction elements. Instead, the complex and heartfelt dives into its extensive main cast ensured that Men at Arms was one of the more powerful and emotionally charged entries in the Discworld (a very impressive feat). The combination of returning protagonists from previous books, as well as a few outstanding new characters, allows for a range of different plot perspectives and personal storylines, and Pratchett effortlessly works to make you invested in all these character arcs before hitting you with intense tragedy and powerful moments.

At the centre of the plot lies main character Captain Samuel Vimes, the cynical veteran leader of the Night Watch, who has finally found happiness and romance in his life. Now on course to retire and become a man of leisure, Vimes must deal with the horror of becoming the thing he hates most: a rich civilian. Dealing with it by diving into one last investigation, Vimes finds himself facing everything he hates about his job, including bureaucracy and the whims of powerful people, resulting in some brilliantly chaotic scenes. While it does seem that Vimes’s role in this story is slightly diminished compared to in other City Watch books, especially in the centre, he is still a major part of the book, and Pratchett writes some excellent storylines around him being the dogged and worn-down investigator pushing against authority and trying to solve one more crime. The focus on his identity as a copper, the sacrifices he makes for his fellow officers, as well as the horror at having to give up the job are major parts of his character arc, and there are some truly heartbreaking moments when he realises he must give it all up. This is well balanced with his heartwarming romance with his unlikely partner, Lady Sybil Ramkin, whose well-meaning support and determination help to make Vimes a better person. However, it is the major sequence when Vimes finally encounters the antagonist which really provides the best look at the character. Forced to decide between being a good cop or a figure of vengeance (a battle that rears its ugly head for Vimes many times during the series), Vimes truly hits his mental and moral limit as he faces down his adversary, and it is one of the most powerful scenes in the entire Discworld series.

While Vimes is the main character of the City Watch series, the focus of Men at Arms is a little more skewed more towards Corporal Carrot Ironfoundersson, as Pratchett expands on his excellent introduction in Guards! Guards!. Now firmly a part of Ankh-Morpork society, Carrot has evolved from naïve newcomer to a seasoned police officer who knows literally everyone in the city. Fully utilising his natural charisma, Carrot proves to be a major force for law and order in the city. I loved how much Pratchett enhanced Carrot in this sequel, as his personality evolves due to his role and responsibility, and despite still appearing quite naïve and obedient, Carrot showcases some impressive intelligence driving much of the investigation. I especially appreciated the various scenes where Carrot managed to outfox many of the city’s more dangerous figures who fall for the dumb copper routine. Despite his new confidence and ability to bring out loyalty in others, Pratchett makes sure to show that Carrot isn’t infallible, and you see some vulnerability at times. Carrot also serves as the moral centre of the book, bringing out the best in the other members of the Watch. His interactions with Vimes in the final confrontation were very heartfelt, especially as he keeps the man he admires most from doing the wrong thing, while the way he handles the antagonists goes to show that he is truly a good man, who you better pray you never face. I also think that his talk with Vetinari at the end of the book was one of the best scenes in Men at Arms, especially as he truly surprises the Patrician, while also dancing around the tricky subject of Carrot’s potential position as heir to the throne. His decision to refuse power and ensure that Vimes will be there instead really helps you keep faith in the good of people, and this was frankly Carrot’s best book.

I also have to highlight the fantastic and fun duo that was the newly instated watchmen, Cuddy and Detritus, the later of whom previously appeared in Moving Pictures. An unusual dwarf and the thickest of trolls, the two make for a particularly unlikely and chaotic duo, which Pratchett uses to full effect as the book continues. Thanks to the enmity that exists between their respective species, Cuddy and Detritus spend much of the early part of Men at Arms bickering with each other, including in one scene in the middle of a riot. However, after being forced to work together, the two form a grudging bond, especially when Cuddy stops seeing Detritus as a dumb troll. I loved how well Pratchett took the classic odd-couple police partner trope and twisted it around the compelling species-rivalry theme of the book, and the fun dynamic that forms between the new friends is a major highlight of the book. The various sequences that follow the big scene that defines these two partners are some of the most powerful in the entire Discworld.

Following on the heels of Cuddy and Detritus is Angua, the other new recruit to the Night Watch. Angua is an interesting figure in the story, mainly because she’s one of the few people able to see how ridiculous the entire Night Watch is. The subsequent storylines surrounding her potentially doomed romance with Carrot and her desire to keep her status as a werewolf secret from everyone, add some excellent alternate perspectives to the plot, and Pratchett did an outstanding job setting her up as a compelling figure for the rest of the series. It helped that for this first book she worked as a bit of a double act with the small talking street dog, Gaspode, who also previously appeared in Moving Pictures. Gaspode proves to be a fantastic wise-cracking counterpoint to Angua, and it was hilarious to watch him mess with the various human characters who refuse to believe he can talk. Their resulting storylines about investigating the crime as canines, as well as the unlikely dog rebellion brewing within the city, works well with the other character focused arcs, and it was fun to get a little more closure on Gaspode’s story after his previous appearance.

Other great supporting characters in Men at Arms includes the returning members of the City Watch, Sergeant Colon and Corporal Nobbs. While not as well utilised in this book as the rest of the City Watch series, they still prove to be a fantastic addition to the supporting cast. Entertaining backers to the various other character-driven storylines, both show interesting depths in this book, whether it’s Colon acting as a put-upon drill sergeant, or Nobby’s use of his quartermaster past to obtain a collection of weapons. Other members of the city also prove to extremely entertaining, with the tyrannical Lord Vetinari being the highlight. The way in which Vetinari manipulates Vimes throughout the entire novel, while also understanding the true nature of most of the city’s residents is highly impressive, and I love that he stayed on as a major character after Guards! Guards!. Throw in a complex arrangement of well-hidden antagonists, including an idea of violence that takes on a familiar form, and the cast of Men at Arms proves quite exceptional. I really cannot emphasise just how much these carefully written character arcs and complex personal storylines increased the impact and emotional power of this novel, and you will come away loving everything about them.

I doubt anyone will be too surprised that I am about to write several paragraphs about Men at Arms’s epic audiobook formats, which I have long described as the very best way to enjoy Pratchett’s stories. I honestly love all the Discworld audiobooks and luckily for connoisseurs, there are two outstanding versions of the Men at Arms audiobook that you can check out.

The first of these is the classic edition that was released back in 1996 and which is read by Nigel Planer. Planer, who is one of my favourite audiobook narrators, lent his voice to most of the early Discworld novels, and is a key reason why I love Discworld books in this audio format. Planer unsurprisingly does an amazing job with Men at Arms, especially as he perfectly captures Pratchett’s complex humour and intense story arcs with his brilliant narration, with every element of the book coming across in an exceptional and addictive manner. This includes the brilliant characters, many of whom Planer previously voiced in other Discworld books. Planner does an amazing job once again diving into these unique characters throughout Men at Arms, and the way he effortlessly portrays each character and shows their full personality and emotional range is just amazing. He frankly provides the definitive portrayal for all the City Watch characters, and I honestly love the passion he brings to the Men at Arms audiobook.

While the Nigel Planer audiobook version is always going to be a favourite of mine, I also have come to deeply appreciate the latest Men at Arms audiobook. Part of a newly released collection of Disworld audiobooks that feature an interesting array of British talents bringing their vocal skills to Pratchett’s classic tales, this new Men at Arms audiobook is very impressive and is just as easy to get lost in at the classic Planer version. Featuring the amazing cast of Jon Culshaw, Peter Serafinowicz and Bill Nighy, this Men at Arms audiobooks has a runtime just short of 13 hours, which is a few hours longer than Planer version. However, the excellent array of narrators really makes it worth a listen.

The heart of this new Men at Arms’ audiobook is British radio and television personality Jon Culshaw, who dove into this role in a very impressive manner. Culshaw really makes the story his own with his take on the novel and the characters, resulting in a very different feel that fans of the original Planer version will really appreciate. Part of the reason why it was so good was that Culshaw brought back the excellent character voices and tones he previously used in Guards! Guards!, many of which provide great and often gritty new takes on some classic characters. This includes a much rougher and despair filled Vimes, which fits the darker places Pratchett took the character in Men at Arms, especially when he goes up against the system. His voice for Carrot captures the same keenness and naiveté that we saw in the previous book, however Culshaw’s vocal work also backed up Carrot’s excellent character development as the protagonist came into his own. His voices for Lord Vetinari and Nobby Nobbs were also a ton of fun, with the dark and insister tones of Vetinari stealing every scene he is in, while Culshaw’s Nobby voices sounded appropriately similar to David Bradley or Jon Pertwee, which is just hilarious. Culshaw also did an excellent job with several newly introduced City Watch characters, and I felt he got ever new additional cast members’ voice down perfectly. My favourite was probably the troll Detritus, as Culshaw worked hard to showcase his massive and rocky troll nature, as well as his serious and slow personality. This excellent vocal work from Culshaw ensured that the core of this Men at Arms audiobook was extremely impressive, and I really could listen to Culshaw’s take on these epic characters all day long.

As with all books in this new collection of Discworld audiobook’s, Culshaw’s main narration was perfectly backed up by recuring voices of Bill Nighy and Peter Serafinowicz. Both play key parts in this audiobook, with Nighy providing the narration for the footnotes, while Serafinowicz was the voice of Death whenever he appeared. These performances were once again perfect, and I especially loved Nighy’s excellent work with the vital, comedic footnotes. Nighy really enhances the impact and value of these footnotes with his calm and impressive voices, and I especially loved his take on some of the more entertaining footnotes, including one where he partially sings a bad folk song. Serafinowicz’s role in Men at Arms is also very fun, as he brings the fan-favourite character of Death to life. Death has several great appearances in Men at Arms, and hearing Serafinowicz’s excellent voice suddenly appear amongst the general narration really increases the impact of the character. Both Bill Nighy and Peter Serafinowicz’s inclusions were extremely fun, and I felt that they were combined with Culshaw’s main narration in a very impressive way. These three brilliant British talents ensured that the new version of Men at Arms was particularly impressive, and while the original audiobook will always remain one of my favourite ways to enjoy Men at Arms, this new version is very much worth a listen and will likely inspire a new generation of Discworld fans.

Well, I think that my above excessive ramblings have probably made the point by now that I deeply enjoyed Men at Arms by Terry Pratchett. One of the best Discworld and City Watch novels, Men at Arms was a glorious, captivating and moving read that perfectly blended crime fiction, fantasy and satire into one truly addictive and impactful book. Clever, sharp and loaded with truly exceptional characters, Men at Arms was Pratchett at his very best, and I cannot recommend this book enough, especially on audiobook. I can think of no higher praise for Men at Arms than to once again state that I will never get bored with this exceptional book, and it inspired me to continue the series and re-listen the next City Watch book, Feet of Clay.

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Guards! Guards! by Terry Pratchett

On November 29, 2024 By The Unseen LibraryIn Audiobook, Comedy/Satire, Extended Universe, Fantasy, Five-Star Books, Murder Mystery, Throwback Thursday14 Comments

Publisher: Gollancz/Penguin Audio (Audiobook – 1989)

Series: Discworld – Book 8 / City Watch – Book One

Length: 13 hours and 29 minutes

My Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

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I recently revisited one of my favourite books in Terry Pratchett’s iconic Discworld series, Guards! Guards!, and I just had to review it to showcase how much fun this series can be.

I have never made any secret of the fact that I love all things Terry Pratchett as the Discworld books were one of the formative series of my youth. A massively popular series set on a flat world carried through space on the back of a giant turtle and four elephants, the Discworld books present a range of unique fantasy adventures, backed with exceptional comedy and satire. This series is so much fun, and I honestly love every single Discworld book, having read them all multiple times, usually while laughing myself silly. Indeed, I am such a big fan of this series that I named my blog after a location in the universe. Despite my overwhelming love for this series, I haven’t reviewed many Discworld books (the exception being Moving Pictures and The Last Continent). That changes with my review of the outrageously funny Guards! Guards! which I recently enjoyed while on a road trip.

Guards! Guards! is a particularly entertaining addition to the Discworld series that I have a lot of love for. Serving as the first book in the City Watch sub-series, Guards! Guards! sees Pratchett blend his typical fantasy and comedy elements with a complex murder mystery. This book follows the ragtag city watch of this world’s main recurring city, Ankh-Morpork, as they try to solve a series of deaths caused by a monstrous murder weapon. Due to its brilliant and hilarious story, as well as the fact that it perfectly sets up the rest of the awesome City Watch books, I generally consider Guards! Guards! to be one of my absolute favourite Discworld novels, and I have featured it in various Top Ten Tuesday lists over the years.

On the fantastical and impossible Discworld no place is more dangerous, corrupt or morally unhealthy as the legendary and stinking city of Ankh-Morpork. The Disc’s largest city, Ankh-Morpork has many terrors haunting its urban depths, where life is cheap and death lurks around every corner. However, not even the hardest criminals, deadliest wizards or most manipulative politicians are prepared for an ancient and malevolent creature that is about to be unleashed upon the city.

A shadowy secret brotherhood has engineered an elaborate plan to seize power in Ankh-Morpork through use of an unlikely weapon, a dragon. Summoning a fully formed fire-breathing dragon to cause terror, the brotherhood hopes to use the resulting carnage to bring in their own puppet to control the city. However, the dragon has its own ideas about what sort of terror it wants to bring down on humanity.

With the rest of the city powerless against the dragon, it falls to the ramshackle Ankh-Morpork Night Watch and its depressed captain, Sam Vimes, to try and stop it. The only problem is the Watch are the biggest joke in the city, incapable of standing up to normal crime, never mind carnage caused by magical dragon. But with an unnaturally keen new recruit guilting them into action, and a terrifying dragon fanatic with a crush on Vimes keeping them in line, the Watch is going to try and save the day, even if no-one wants them to.

Guards! Guards! still reigns supreme as one of my top Discworld novels from the always impressive Terry Pratchett. Featuring a unique plot, loaded with an outstanding mix of mystery, humour and fun fantasy elements, Guards! Guards! brilliantly sets up one of Pratchett’s best sub-series while presenting its own epic and powerful story. An exceptional read from start to finish, this book gets a very easy five-star rating from me, and I love it so damn much.

The plot of Guards! Guards! is so damn clever and is peak Pratchett in its inventiveness and impressive characters. Presenting an entertaining and humourous noir murder investigation in a fantasy series, Guards! Guards! has a lot of moving parts to it, including some impressive character-driven story arcs, all of which come together beautifully for a particularly intense and insane story. Starting off very strong with some great introductions to various key characters, including the young and keen Carrot Ironfoundersson, who journeys to the massive and corrupt city of Ankh-Morpork to join the Night Watch, providing fresh blood, irrepressible honesty and uncontrolled enthusiasm to the small squad of rejects and failures currently staffing it. Carrot’s arrival corresponds with the start of a bold conspiracy, as a secretive mystic brotherhood plots to dethrone the Patrician and take over the city. The initial scenes of this book are extremely good, and I love how Pratchett expertly sets up the entire narrative with some hilarious moments, including the opening sequence with the Elucidated Brethren of the Ebon Night, whose petty ideology shows you just what sort of criminal minds we are truly dealing with.

Things go in a chaotic direction as the Night Watch, led by the drunk and depressed Captain Vimes, witness a direct murder by dragon and begin their own investigation into the matter. Pratchett expertly pivots the story around from its comedic fantasy start into a complex police procedural/noir murder investigation, as the protagonists try to find out why the dragon is terrifying the city and who benefits from the apparent crime. At the same time, several great character arcs emerge, including a truly nice, if unconventional romance, new friendships, and a fun analysis of dragon mythology. There is a great twist about halfway through the book as the down-and-out Night Watch witness an interesting change to the classic dragon fantasy tale that sees a unique king take over the city.

The final third of the book is some of Pratchett’s strongest writing, as Vimes identifies the true culprit and must work to undo the damage they caused. There are some great moments in this last part of the book as Pratchett presents his own unique and hilarious take on classic fantasy tropes, including the famed million-to-one shot, the heroic rescue, and the successful defeat of a dragon. I felt that the identity of the main villain of the story was very clever, and Pratchett sets it up well with subtle clues, although if you know Pratchett’s thoughts on certain government positions it’s not too surprising. Still, the final confrontation between the protagonists and this villain is great, and being literal has never been so deadly. Pratchett leaves Guards! Guards! on a hopeful note, and it’s impossible not to come away with a smile on your face.

Pratchett was really on-point when it came to writing Guards! Guards! and I loved how perfectly it came together. As with all books in the Discworld series, Guards! Guards! features an exceptional mixture of fantasy and humour elements, as the unusual and cynical Discworld produces some unusual situations, layered in with a great plot and some fantastically complex characters. A lot of the humour is derived from classic fantasy scenarios that are taken up to 11 and shown in outrageous manners, accompanied by sarcastic comments from the characters as they witness them. For example, this book serves as an ode to the guards and watchmen from classic fantasy fiction, and there are some funny scenes when these self-aware guards realise how expendable they are in a fantasy story. However, Guards! Guards! also features a brilliant third element as Pratchett also features a compelling crime fiction read, accompanied with an addictive murder mystery.

The blend of fantasy and crime fiction elements works incredibly well, and it is highly entertaining to watch a serious investigation consider magic, suddenly appearing dragons, and the unique background setting of Ankh-Morpork. I also loved how many clever and subtle jokes Pratchett was able to weave in because of these crime fiction inclusions, and he ends up lovingly roasting so many classic tropes from police procedurals and noir detective novels. Despite having read this book many times, I still laugh like crazy at all the humourous moments in Guards! Guards!, especially as you always discover a new joke or pun you previously missed. I honestly don’t have time to list all the funny scenes in Guards! Guards!, but favourites include the various meetings of the petty and mostly incompetent Elucidated Brethren, Carrot’s naïve overreactions upon discovering crime in the city, and various musings on how to achieve a perfect, million-to-one chance. Pratchett once again expertly backs up his humour in Guards! Guards! with a series of entertaining footnotes spread throughout the book, that prove to be nearly as much fun as the main story. These brilliant footnotes contain additional jokes, sarcastic comments, or interesting expansions of the Discworld universe, and they always bounce off the main story perfectly, providing extra laughs and food for thought where necessary. I really cannot emphasise just how well this blend of genres worked with Pratchett’s unique and endearing humour, and it proves impossible not to have an exceptional time while reading this book.

As with most Discworld books, Guards! Guards! works exceedingly well as a standalone novel, and I feel that anyone wanting a laugh could easily jump in and follow the story without any issues. Due to its early position in the shared Discworld universe, you don’t have to know anything about the other entries in the overarching series to jump right in, as Pratchett goes a tad light on some of the more outrageous Discworld elements. As such, I consider Guards! Guards! to be one of the very best entry novels to new Discworld readers. It also proves to be a brilliant first book in one of Pratchett’s best sub-series, and so many key details of the subsequent City Watch books are introduced here. This includes some excellent early looks at the chaotic city of Ankh-Morpork and key recurring characters in the larger universal plot. Ankh-Morpork is a great background setting for Guards! Guards! and it was the first book completely set within the bounds of the city. I loved seeing this crazy city in even more detail, and all the fun elements set up here help to make it an epic setting. As such, this is a great book for any Discworld reader, new or old, and it’s one of my favourites for very good reason.

As with pretty much all of Pratchett’s works, the key things that made Guards! Guards! so impressive were the amazing and unique characters that were featured throughout the plot. Pratchett had a real knack for producing complex, multi-layered figures who can be both comedic and tragic at the same time, and who you couldn’t help but love. Guards! Guards! was a particularly good example of this, as Pratchett featured a range of brilliant and entertaining characters who would go on to be become major recurring figures in the Discworld canon. Indeed, Guards! Guards! is one of the most significant books for new characters, and it is frankly amazing how many exceptional major and iconic figures were introduced here. Each of these characters were so well written, and you have to love both their specific arcs in this book, as well as how they were expanded on in later works.

The most prominent character in Guards! Guards! is Captain Samuel Vimes. A cynical and damaged man whose habit of calling out social inequities has seen him assigned to the joke position as head of the Night Watch, which he deals with by drinking vast amounts of alcohol. A parody of every hard-drinking cop and private eye in classic noir fiction, Vimes starts the book with no prospects and too many dead friends. Given new purpose when the dragon appears in the city, Vimes turns his innate rebellion to a purpose and tries policing and detecting. Pratchett does an exceptional job setting up Vimes here in Guards! Guards!, and it is no wonder he goes on to be one of his top protagonists. Vimes’s depressed investigative method proves quite successful, and it was entertaining to watch Vimes attempt to solve the case while sarcastically calling out his fellow citizens’ base stupidity and selfishness. Pratchett also sets up an impressive redemption arc around Vimes, which comes about through a combination of trusted colleagues, romance, and a renewed determination to uphold the law. While he ends the book still irritated with the world, the road forward to Vimes doing bigger and better things is well established, and you really get drawn into his arc as a result.

Another impressive character is naïve and innocent City Watch recruit, Carrot Ironfoundersson. Due to his complex home situation and a late life revelation that he’s human rather than a dwarf (being six and a half feet tall wasn’t a clue to him), Carrot is sent to Anhk-Morpork with a desire to become a watchman, which he incorrectly believes is a noble calling. Thanks to his literal personality and highly moral upbringing, Carrot proves to be an anathema to the lawless folks of Anhk-Morpork, as he comes to town bringing justice, enforcing obscure laws, and actually arresting thieves: “change your ways”. A brilliant parody of ultra-righteous fantasy kings, Carrot serves as an outstanding comic relief for much of the book, especially when it comes to his wholesome interactions with the exceedingly criminal inhabitants of the city. However, beneath his comedic cover, Carrot is written as a complex figure of change, and his ability to inspire the other characters, either through guilt or determination, leads to some big moments. Pratchett did an amazing job with Carrot in Guards! Guards!, and it was fascinating to see how he evolves from his initial innocent personality, to a more clever, but still determined, character.

Aside from Vimes and Carrot, the other two watch characters are Sergeant Fred Colon and Corporal Nobby Nobbs, both of whom are excellent and solid comedic characters. The stereotypical fat sergeant and dodgy corporal, Pratchett has fun setting them up as unassailable fixtures of the Night Watch as they do the jobs nature intended for them, and I love how they play off each other. While Colon has some hilarious scenes, including his attempt at archery and his various ill-timed run-ins with the dragon, you can tell that Pratchett had a lot more fun writing Nobby. While not all his over-the-top characteristics from the series are shown in Guards! Guards!, Nobby is still a particularly entertaining figure. Between his coarse language, petty criminal mindset, and uncharacteristic foppish behaviours, every scene with Nobby is highly amusing, and I love how Pratchett expanded off clever stereotypes about lifetime corporals to create this wayward figure.

Outside the members of the City Watch, there are a fantastic array of figures who help to make Guards! Guards! a particularly enthralling story. This includes one of the few female characters in the book, Sybil Rankin, a dragon-loving heiress who ends up being Vimes’s unlikely love interest. Deliberately written as the direct opposite of a noir femme-fatale in both personality and appearance, Sybil is a force of nature, using her accumulated nobility to pull the Night Watch, especially Vimes, into her orbit. It proves impossible not to like Sybil as you watch her confidently go after Vimes or try to put the dragon to heel, and she ends up being one of the most complicated female characters that Pratchett wrote (which is saying a lot when you think of some of his other great female characters).

The other major character that I want to separately highlight is the Patrician of Ankh-Morpork, Lord Havelock Vetinari. While he has appeared in previous Discworld novels (notably Sourcery), this is the first book that showcases him as a full character. Generally depicted as a Machiavellian mastermind and one of the few people capable of controlling the chaotic city, Vetinari has some great early scenes. However, it’s not until the second half of the book when you realise just how fantastic a character he is. Deposed by the false king, Vetinari initially appears to be completely powerless in the dungeons, until Vimes is thrown in with him and begins to realise that he is still in control, especially as he’s managed to cultivate a new intelligence network (procured by providing wartime strategy to magical rats), while also getting locked in a dungeon specifically designed to keep him safe. His subsequent scenes tormenting the book’s real antagonist and talking about the nature of humanity with Vimes really cement him as an impressive figure, and the seeds for his many later inclusions as the Disc’s ultimate political mastermind are well sown here.

While I know I’ve been going on a bit about characters (blame Pratchett for being such a good writer), I just need to highlight a few more figures who have a great role in Guards! Guards!. This includes the Librarian, one of Pratchett’s most iconic characters, who proves to be just as much fun outside of a wizard focused book, and it was entertaining seeing him interact with a separate group of friends. You get a great introduction to the character of Cut-My-Own-Throat Dibbler, whose mercantile tendencies are on full display here. The unusual swamp dragon Errol proves to be an unlikely pet, and his arc about finding love and his true form was particularly heartwarming. Finally, I must mention the book’s great antagonist, who fully embraces the mad tendencies that his position demands. While I won’t go into too much detail about who he is, I will say I loved seeing his various internal rants about the world, and the scenes with his incompetent henchmen were so damn funny. All these characters, plus even more hilarious figures, are instrumental to so much of Guards! Guards! brilliant charm and humour, and after being introduced to them here, it’s impossible not to follow them on their full journey.

I have had the pleasure of reading Guards! Guards! in a couple of different formats over the years, but to my mind the best way to enjoy this book, and indeed any Discworld novel, is on audiobook. The Discworld audiobooks are something very special, and I find that the unique stories, excellent humour and elaborate characters really come across when read out by a passionate narrator. With the recent re-release of various Discworld audiobooks, there are now two different unabridged versions of Guards! Guards! fans can enjoy, and I want to highlight them both here.

The first Guards! Guards! audiobook is the original version with the talented Nigel Planer, who narrated 22 of the original 23 Discworld audiobooks. Guards! Guards! is one of his best performances, and it set the scene nicely for many of his subsequent Discworld audiobooks, especially as he settled on a lot of key character voices and tones here. While it has been a little while since I’ve listened to Planer’s version of Guards! Guards!, I have enjoyed it so many times it is permanently engrained in my head (I used to grab the tape cassette version out of my local library all the time). Planer, who does all the voices himself, really captures the essence of Pratchett’s storytelling and excels at expressing the author’s unique humour through his vocal work. I also felt that his portrayal of many of the key characters was second to none, and he really brought to life all the City Watch protagonists, as well as some other long-running figures, in some impressive ways. He would revisit many of these voices in multiple subsequent performances, and it is a testament to his skill that the initial tones he came up with here, worked so well in the later books. I frankly have so much love for Planer’s original take on Guards! Guards!, which definitely still stands the test of time, and his excellent and heartfelt voice work defines many of the City Watch characters for me.

While Nigel Planers original version is perfect, current Discworld fans may be more familiar with the latest audiobook production of Guards! Guards!, which was part of a recent re-recording of all the Discworld books. These new audiobooks each feature a different famous British performer voicing the main plot, while acclaimed actors Peter Serafinowicz and Bill Nighy have key roles in every single production. While these have been out for a little while, I only just listened to my first one . Coming in at a runtime of 13 and a half hours, which is a tad longer than the roughly 10-hour long Planer version, this Guards! Guards! audiobook was extremely fun, and it served as excellent entertainment on a recent road trip.

The new version of the Guards! Guards! audiobook is primarily voiced by British radio and television personality Jon Culshaw. Culshaw is amazing in the role, and I was deeply impressed with his take on the Guards! Guards! characters. Each unique character comes across extremely well in Culshaw’s capable hands, and I enjoyed his take on their unique characteristics and eccentric personalities. He perfectly showcased protagonist Samuel Vimes’s drunken despair and depression, while various other key members of the watch, such as the extremely keen Carrot and the more cautious Colon, are shown extremely well. I also felt that Culshaw did an incredible job with several complicated figures from the story, such as the infamous watchman Nobby Nobbs, who Culshaw gifts a gruff and weaselly voice that sounded a lot like David Bradley or Jon Pertwee. His Lord Vetinari is also amazing, and the deep and threatening tones really capture the character’s dangerous nature. Finally, I felt that his take on the main female character, Sybil Ramkin, was just perfect, and you really got the full blast of her big personality and excessive aristocratic characteristics. Many of the other side characters were also perfectly portrayed to my mind, and I must highlight the excellent way in which he disguised the voice of the main antagonist during some key secret society scenes.

Culshaw’s primary narration is well backed up by Peter Serafinowicz and Bill Nighy in their respective roles. Serafinowicz provides the voice of Death whenever he appears in this audiobook, which works out extremely well even with Death’s relatively minor role in Guards! Guards!. Serafinowicz has an exceptional Death voice, and hearing it suddenly appear throughout Guards! Guards! is so damn epic, especially during one scene where Death is hiding amongst the soon-to-be deceased. Nighy, on the other hand, narrates the various footnotes. Nighy was a perfect choice for this, and his calm, consistent tones, echoing Peter Jones’s similar role in The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy radio and TV editions really highlighted the subtle comedy of these footnotes. I felt that all three of these distinctive actors really vibed together in the Guards! Guards! audiobooks, and the switch between them was seamless, allowing for a particularly awesome listen. Throw in an interesting short afterword about fantasy elements by acclaimed author Ben Aaronovitch, and this proved to be a remarkable and compelling audiobook I could not get enough of. While Nigel Planer’s original narration of Guards! Guards! is always going to live in my head rent free, I felt that this new version more than lived up to the hype surrounding it, and I really appreciated the unique and powerful performances these new narrators brought to the table. Frankly both of the audiobook versions comes highly recommended by me, and it is impossible to be dissatisfied by them at all.

Whew, well in case you could guess from this massive review (it got away from me), I love Guards! Guards! and I have some very strong feelings for it. One of Terry Pratchett’s best Discworld novels, Guards! Guards! is the perfect blend of fantasy, crime fiction and humour that you could ever want, and I always get wrapped up in its elaborate story. A wildly entertaining and comedic novel from start to finish, Pratchett added so much heart to this book, and you get drawn into the impressive characters and compelling, crime fiction plot. A brilliant start to the City Watch subseries, Guards! Guards! is so damn good, and I know I will be reading it many more times in my life. I can think of no better way to emphasise just how amazing Guards! Guards! is than to mention that I used it to introduce the Discworld to my wife, who is now powering through the series on her own. So do yourself a favour and check this book out now!